City Life & Rainbows
by SincerelyRainbow
Summary: Rated T for language. COMPLETE. Matt runs away from the orphanage, leaving more questions than answers. Only what happens when the main thing being questioned is sexuality? The answer is simple. It's drama, it's yaoi, it's possible insanity. R&R please.
1. Matt

A/N:: Less brain melting than in the last fic. Brand new style though. I'm seeing how this goes.

ANIME: Death note.

Pairing: MattxMello

DISCLAIMER: I do not own death note. I wish I did.

SPOILERS//: THIS REVEALS MELLO'S AND MATT'S REAL NAMES.

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PART ONE

Matt stares across the table at Mello. Mello doesn't look back. He just sits there, breaking off pieces of chocolate and sliding them into his mouth.

_Bad ass_, Matt thinks to himself.

Matt's gaze falls onto the floor. There is Near hunched over a white jigsaw puzzle.

It's playtime at the Wammy house, if one could call it that.

Matt jumps one of Mello's checker pieces. He picks it up and puts it in his pile.

"Bastard," Mello says, putting another piece of chocolate into his mouth.

"Asshole," replies Matt.

And playtime continues as such. An exchanging of foul words, until Mello gets irritated and knocks the board onto the ground, causing the pieces to scatter across the room.

"Miheal," Matt groans, "I hate you."

And to such, Mello replies, "And I hate you too."

It's a never ending cycle between these two. A constant exchange of insults. Bring the other one down. Show who's the boss. Because to give in is to be the weaker one. And to be weak is to follow in third place.

But Matt knows he's losing. He will always be third. Near will be first always, with Mello in second. And Matt will be third.

Now three hours have passed, and it's bedtime. Each room suits three children. As luck would have it, Mello, Matt and Near share a room. Matt and Mello share bunk beds, while Near has a small bed in the corner of the room.

Matt lays on his bed. Naturally, he has bottom bunk. It's all about the concept of ranking. First gets his own bed. Second gets the top bunk, and third is stuck on bottom.

"Hey Mello," Matt says just loud enough for Mello to hear.

"What do you want?"

Matt puts his hands behind his head and stares up at the bars that hold Mello above him.

"Why are we here?" questions Matt.

Mello lets out a sigh of irritation. "You're stupid, you know that? Why do you think we're here? To be L's successor. Now shut up and go to sleep."

Matt sighs._ I have no reason to be here. Mello and Near are better than me. L has his successors. I'm wasting my time. Why stay? I'll be fine on my own._

And with that he rises off the bed and grabs a backpack. It has a fancy monogram M on it. He knows it's Mello's. Mello won't mind. He probably won't even notice it's gone.

Into the backpack, he tosses his Nintendo DS and all the games he can grab. He tosses in some clothes, about three outfits in total. He needs another bag, so he grabs his own messenger bag. Into this bag goes his lighter, a few packs of cigarettes, some snacks previously stolen out of the kitchen, and all the money he has to his name. Even if it is only seven dollars and fifty five cents.

Matt tosses the backpack over his back, and the bag goes over his shoulder. There's no need to change clothes. The way he sees it, his pajamas can be another outfit. Around his neck, he places his orange-tinted goggles. The pair he never goes anywhere without.

"Goodbye Mello," whispers Matt, climbing up the first few steps of the ladder. His eyes focus on the sleeping blond. He is so innocent when he's asleep. It was as if the entire bad-ass attitude melts away to reveal a sleeping angel. An angel that causes a smile to form on Matt's face. A smile that soon after fades when Matt realizes this may be the last time he ever sees Mello again. He runs his fingers through Matt's hair, pushing it away from his face.

"Goodbye," Matt repeats, climbing off the ladder.

Time to escape.

He opens up the window and looks at the ground that lies beneath him. He's three stories up. Three stories above freedom. At this point, he wishes Near played with jump ropes. At least then he could use them to climb down. But Near doesn't play with jump ropes. He plays with puzzles and dolls. And Mello doesn't play at all. So for the moment, Matt is stuck.

_Dammit._

He pulls a cigarette from his messenger bag, opens the window, and lights up. The ashes get flickered out the window and scatter in the night time breeze. Matt adjusts himself, propping up in the window sill, staring out into the city. It's dim. Frankly, it's dirty. But for Matt, it's sweet freedom. If only he could get out of the window.

He could jump. _And die? No thanks._ He could sneak out the front door. _No way. Roger is probably still awake. Doesn't that man ever sleep?_

Matt is stuck. On the third floor of an orphanage full of people trying to be somebody they're not.

Trying to reason a way out of the orphanage, Matt squishes himself into L's famous sitting position. Maybe it will work.

It doesn't. Matt just feels uncomfortable and squished. Like he's trapped in a bx. _How does L sit like that all the time?_

He tosses his cigarette out the window and watches as it falls. It lands in the bushes in front of the building. If he jumped, he could land in them. _Not going to happen. _

_If only I was one story lower. _And for a moment, an idea flashes. _The second story window. I could get down there and jump from that window. One hop then freedom. No wait, Matt, that's stupid. Climb down. Don't jump._

Matt takes a final look around his room. Near is curled up in a sideways L position, hugging his knees. Mello is sprawled out on his bed with the blanket hanging half off. His body is for the most part uncovered. Matt can see all of his torso, down to his skinny hip bones. Mello only slept in his underwear. For a moment, Matt wishes he could stare forever. But he can't. He's making his escape tonight. He's leaving. He's refusing to be third any longer. No more trying to be L. He wants to be Matt.

He sighs and opens the bedroom door. The hall is empty, except for his shadow on the hall floor. He walks quietly to the stairs.

They creak as he walks to the second floor. One flight and he's there. The window to freedom just a few steps away.

Matt pushes the window open. The building is old, so there's no state of the art security system. All remains quiet. First out the window goes the messenger bag. And then the backpack. Matt climbs into the window sill.

_This is it, Matt, just climb down. _

He takes a deep breath and begins to climb on the window below him. After a few minutes of climbing, he's on the ground.

_I made it._

And with that, he grabs his bags and runs off, disappearing into the darkness.


	2. Mello

AN//: POINT OF VIEW CHANGES. It's now being told from what Mello is thinking. But it changes back and forth per chapter.

Disclaimer//: I don't own Death Note. If I did, L would still be here.

Anyway, this is chapter two. Sooo enjoy. And yes, I realize my characters at points argue with the narrator.

The next morning. Mello wakes up earlier than usual. He climbs down the ladder to the bunk beds. Matt isn't there. Mello isn't sure why. Usually Matt is the last person to wake up.

_I wonder where he could be._

His eyes fall onto the table next to the bed. Matt's orange-tinted goggles are missing. _Strange. Where could he have gone? _He eyes Near, but Near is still curled up on his bed sound asleep.

_Maybe Matt's gone downstairs._

So that's where he goes. Downstairs. He doesn't even get dressed. He's still in his underwear. And his hair is a complete mess. But he doesn't mind. All he wants to know is where Matt has ran off to.

The truth is, despite the insults, Mello actually cares about Matt. Matt is his best friend. He's the one Mello can talk to. He's the only one that talks to Mello. The other kids all idolize Near and Matt. Mello is just that chocolate eating, scolding, second-best-to-Near, jerky orphan.

_But it has to be this way, right?_

Except for when dealing with Matt.

So, he stands at the bottom of the stairs.

"The second story window was wide open," one of the caretakers of the orphanage says to Roger. "And Mail is missing."

"Guess we have ourselves a runaway," Roger replies.

For a second, Mello can't move. _Matt has ran away? Why the fuck would he do that? Matt, you idiot._

Roger looked over and sees tired Mello standing there, still in shock. It's four AM. Mello is the only child in the entire place that is awake. The only child to know that Matt, his best friend, his only friend, has ran away.

"Miheal, what are you doing awake at this hour?" questions Roger, staring across the room at him.

Mello doesn't answer. But instead he replies with a question of his own.

"How are we going to find him?"

"It's not that easy, Mello," Roger begins, "The police won't get involved until he's been missing at least twenty-four hours and. . ."

"Bull shit," Mello yells back, darting back up stairs.

_Matt, what have you done? Why have you ran off like this? You dumb ass._

Mello stares at the empty bottom bunk. He falls into it. The faint smell of tobacco fills his lungs. He reaches over and picks up Matt's pillow, hugging it tightly. The pillow smells like Matt, an odd combination of tobacco and shampoo.

_I can't just let you stay gone, Matt. I need you here. You're my best friend._

Mello gets up from the bed. He grabs his black jacket from off the near-by rack. It's a tight fit hoody, and it clings to his small frame. His jeans lie on the floor. They're tight fit and solid black. He slides them over his legs.

He wills himself down the stairs and out the door, only to find the rain is pouring hard. He sighs as the huge drops hit his body, causing his clothes to stick tighter to him than before. The sudden rain makes him feel cold, and he shivers a bit.

_Matt, where are you?_

He takes off in a random direction, hoping to see his red-headed friend somewhere. How hard could it possibly be to find a red-headed male in a striped shirt and orange goggles, with a cigarette pressed tight between his lips?

_Let mission: find Matt commense._


	3. Second thoughts Matt

AN//: WELCOME BACK READERS TO THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF MY STORY.

Disclaimer//: Do I really have to repeat this again?

So we're back in Matt's point of view once more.

And the age thing may not be accurate. But meh, whatever. XD

Matt finds himself in the rain. Only he's taking refuge in a coffee shop, sipping on hot chocolate as slow as humanly possible to avoid going back into the the rain. And now he's $3.50 short of what he had previously.

Of course, by now he realizes he'll soon go broke. After all, now he only has four dollars to his name.

_I'm glad I brought snacks._

But Matt can't eat one right now. He has to make his food last as long as possible. But just how far can a few snacks go?

_They'll last. _And when they're gone? _I'll figure that out when the time comes._

Matt knows he'll reach that point. And he'll probably reach it soon. He chooses not to think about it. He's only fifteen at the moment. There is no way he would be able to find, or for that matter keep, a job. And if the police were to find him, he'd be sent back.

_Maybe this really was a bad idea. Too late now._

AN//: WOW SO SHORT. I AM SORRY. The chapters vary in lengths.


	4. First Thoughts: Denial Mello

AN//: SO YOU'VE RETURNED? Well, that's great. I'm very happy to see you're still reading.

WE'RE BACK AT MELLO NOW. MKAY?

Mello wanders around in the middle of the pouring rain. He knows he should go inside. But Matt isn't inside. Mello doesn't want to go back inside until he finds Matt. Because if he doesn't find Matt, who would be his best friend? Near? _I think I'll pass on that one._

Being in the rain however isn't helping. It's just making him feel sick. He knows Matt probably won't be wandering around in the rain. Even Matt is smart enough to know to get out of the rain, especially in this kind of rain.

Sighing, he finally walks back into the orphanage. He shakes his head in disbelief. _Matt, I hate you._

It isn't true. He doesn't hate Matt. He couldn't hate Matt. He's just not happy with Matt. Running away seems so stupid to Mello.

_To be so smart, you're stupid. And if I find you, I might just kill you myself._

"Where have you been?" questions Near.

Near is sitting in the entrance hall, building a city entirely made from dice. Mello looks down and watches as Near twirls a piece of white hair around his index finger. _He always does that._

"Matt's ran away," Mello replies.

Near shrugs. He's never been a very emotional person. At least not on the outside. Everything he feels remains hidden behind a seemingly apathetic face.

"You know, thanks for fucking caring!"

That's the difference between the three. Near is stone-faced. Matt never really cares. And Mello wears his heart on his thin black sleeve.

"Look at it this way," Near begins, "He's ran away. If he wants to come back, then let him. But if he chooses not to, then it's his life. You can't make him come back."

Mello's temper boils over. He pulls back his foot and kicks it into the dice city. The towers collapse into a pile on the floor.

Mello walks by them and heads upstairs.

He normally didn't yell at Near like that. But this time Near deserved it.

_He doesn't even care Matt is gone._

He falls into Matt's bed. He doesn't have the energy to climb into his own. His clothes are still wet from outside, causing him to shiver. He kicks off his pants and slides off his jacket.

_Dry enough._

He pulls the blanket around himself. It smells like Matt. The whole bed smells like Matt. Mello likes the smell. The smell of tobacco alone made him gag, but when mixed with Matt's "scent," it was bliss. _How sad? Matt has his own scent._

He closes his eyes and eventually drifts off to sleep.

Shortly after he's dreaming. But not normal dreams. He's dreaming of himself kissing boys. Boys. Like Matt. Like Near.

These dreams cause him to wake up in a sweat. _No way. What the hell was that about? I couldn't be. . .could I? No fucking way._

AN//: Oh sweet denial. Still a short chapter, but meh. XDD


	5. Crazy Matt

AN//: I would like to say welcome back. Thanks for still reading.

IT'S MATT TIME AGAIN. And with a crazy old man? Sure why not. The old man is seemingly crazy but he's really wise. Because while he seems really nuts to Matt, he's actually giving him good advice.

Matt has been kicked out of the coffee shop. Now he sits in the park. It's seven AM. He's glad the rain stopped. But now his mind is on other things.

He wonders about Mello. If he's awake yet. If he notices he's gone.

_Even if he does notice, it's not like he really cares._

If Matt only knew the truth, but he doesn't.

And for the moment, Matt still has no reason to head back. But he feels unsure. Unsure about what to do with the day. Better yet, unsure of what to do with his life.

_Guess it's just live day to day?_

As if he has a choice.

An old man approaches Matt, sitting next to him on the bench.

"What you doin' out here, boy?" He questions in an almost southern-hick accent, "Don't you see what time it is?"

"Yeah, I know," Matt replies.

"Why aren't you at your home?"

"Don't have a home to be at."

"Are ya crazy boy? Every kid has a home, even if it's just a box somewhere."

_Box? This man is nuts. Kids don't live in a box. Well, a few might, but still. He's crazy!_

Matt rises from the bench and begins to walk away.

"Guess I'll go find a box then."

"Go back where you came from boy!"

_Go back to the orphanage? As if._

He shakes his head at the old man and walks out of the park. _Crazy old man._

AN//: Wow that was really short chapter. Matt's next chapter will be longer. I promise.


	6. Not Gay Mello

AN//: MELLO TIME AGAIN. BUT NOW WITH THE INTRODUCTION OF AN ORIGINAL CHARACTER, REN! She's a girl. Not to be confused with Rem though XD. And her real name is not just a boy name. It's an either sex name, actually.

Mello slides dry clothes over his skinny frame. He decides to walk downstairs, but not before grabbing a bar of chocolate.

At the bottom of the stairs he sees Near and Ren, whose actual name is Ryan Nisa. Ren is the only female in the top five ranking, falling in fourth place. She's Matt's age.

The two are building with dice once more. The city of dice now takes up a vast majority of the entrance hall.

"Where on earth did you two get so many dice?"

Mello finds he can't look at near. Not after _those _dreams. So he focuses on Ren and watches as she places a die on the top of the tower.

_She's cute. That means I'm not gay, right? Maybe, I need to prove I'm not gay._

"Hey Ren," he speaks up.

"Yes?" Ren replies.

"Want to go get some coffee or something?"

Ren's eyes light up. All she can do is nod as she takes off running upstairs.

A moment later she comes back downstairs. She had changed clothes, now clad in a black shirt and white skirt with striped socks.

Mello looks her up and down. _See she's cute. Really cute._

Ren locks her arms around one of his. Of course, she has a crush on Mello. She has a crush on Near too. She's just too shy to make the first move. So this date with Mello makes her feel happier than she's felt in a long time.

"Let's go," Ren giggles, waving at Near, "Bye Nate-y poo!"

Mello leads her out the door. The two walk to the coffee shop. Mello and Ren are an odd couple. Mello strikes people as a bad-ass. While Ren is more of a little ball of energy. Ren has a smile constantly pasted on her pale face, while Mello rarely smiles at all. Ren slides her hand down Mello's arm, bumping her hand intentionally into his. Mello interlaces his fingers with hers.

_See I'm not gay. I'm out with Ren. Ren, the smartest girl and prettiest in the orphanage. Not a boy. Not Near. Not Matt, wherever the hell he is._

"Are you okay, Mello?"

He nods.

They arrive at the coffee shop. Mello opens the door and holds it open, and Ren walks inside, smiling.

They sit across from one another. Ren focuses on a menu that lies on the table. Mello isn't really paying attention. He's staring at Ren. She reminds him of other people. Her pink and maroon streaked hair reminds him of Matt. _I really should be looking for him. Starting to miss him. _The way she sometimes twirls her hair around her finger or presses her finger to her lips reminds him of Near. _Why am I even thinking of Near? Have I lost it completely?_ Her eyes remind him of a random J-rocker he saw on Youtube a few days ago. _Dude, what the fuck am I thinking?_

_This is insane. She's a girl. She doesn't even look like a boy. She's a girl. For the last time, Mello, get a hold of yourself. You're not gay. I'm not gay. I'm not gay. . ._

AN//: Mello is such a closet case. But thus the story continues. I'll have chappy seven up ASAP. Sorry it took so long with chapter six. I've been ill.


	7. Crushed Matt

AUTHOR NOTES// Oh my god, I so forgot about this story. I feel horrible.

PLEASE NOTE: THE TITLE OF THIS IS PROBABLY GOING TO BE CHANGED TO CITY LIFE AND RAINBOWS. OR something of that nature.

Matt sits on a swing on the opposite of the park. He pushes himself back and forth, staring hopelessly at the sky. It's a light shade of gray, probably from the earlier showers. A bird flies by.

Matt almost feels like he can relate to that bird too. The bird is away from the group of other birds. It flies solo. And Matt feels like that bird. Broken away from the group and flying solo.

Except the bird is probably happier than he is.

He hates this feeling. It's not just one emotion. It's loads of them tied together. It's loneliness, fear, boredom and uncertainty. All tied together. It's nagging at Matt.

So he decides it's time to leave the park. He needed to walk around some. Anything to stop thinking so much.

_But where to go? This city kills. There's nothing here. It's nothing but a dirty city, full of nothing. The same old things every city has._

He names off the buildings as he passes them. _Music store, grocery store, flower store, coffee store..._

Matt peers through the window of the coffee shop. In the center table, he immediately spots a couple. But it's no ordinary couple. It's none other than Mello and Ren. And they seem to be having a marvelous time. Ren is laughing at what appears to be Mello telling a joke. A small smile is even pasted on his usually stone face. Matt's eyes drop a little to see the two's hands in the center of the table. Ren's is on top Mello's. But the order of the hands doesn't matter to Matt.

_I go missing. I leave the house without a word. And what does Mello do? He cavorts away with Ren the minute I leave. He doesn't even care I'm gone._

And that thought alone hits Matt like a ton of bricks, causing him to temporarily stop breathing.

_He doesn't care. At all._

The red-headed boy opts for the option of leaving. He knows he could stand there forever staring, and Mello probably wouldn't notice. But he can't stand there forever. He can't stand another moment of those two together.

And so Matt walks away from the shop, sneaking and slouching down into an alley way.

_Mello, why don't you care about me?_


	8. Second thoughts: Kissing? Mello

Mello and Ren walk next to each other down the sidewalk. Ren reaches down and purposely bumps his hand once more. Only Mello doesn't respond. He's walking almost like a zombie. A distant stare is on his face, staring past the sidewalk they're walking on. Almost like he's staring at the future. And in his eyes, there seems to be clouds, fogging over his crystal blue eyes.

"Are you okay, Mel?" Ren questions.

No response. Just that continuous stare.

And Ren sighs.

_This really doesn't feel right. But that doesn't mean I'm gay. Gay, me? No way. But still, I'm with the best girl at Whammy's, and I'm still not happy? Something has to be wrong. Maybe I just miss Matt. But not in a sexual way. He's my friend. That's it. Right?_

The more he thinks about it, the more he realizes how unusual their friendship is. They were a lot closer, both emotionally and physically, than most boys at the orphanage. And neither of them had a girlfriend. Neither of them had ever had one either. They always had each other, but never in a boyfriend way.

And now at sixteen, Mello realizes that maybe there is something between Matt and himself. He just can't figure out what it is. And he refuses to think of Matt _in that way._

The blond stands on the top step of the porch, and the girl stands on the porch itself. Neither of them are talking. Ren stares at Mello. Mello stares at his old converses.

"I'm going to go inside now," Ren says, trying to break the silence.

She turns to walk inside, and there's a tug at her wrist. In one swift movement, her lips crash into Mello's. And in what should have been the final 'I'm not gay' moment, everything Mello knew falls to pieces. Because in this kiss, this kiss that he thought would solve all his problems, everything shoots straight to hell. Because in this kiss, there is nothing.

It's empty. It's meaningless. It's a sudden burst of realization.

_I need to find Matt. Now._

As they pull away, Ren bites on the inside of her cheek. She stares at him with sad eyes because she can tell he didn't feel the same things she felt.

After a moment of awkward silence, she finally speaks up.

"You don't like me, do you? You know, in that way."

And for once in his life, Mello can't answer. He has an answer, but the silence seems to say more than he could find words for.

With that, she turns and walks back inside.

But Mello doesn't follow. He walks off in a random direction, hoping maybe, just maybe, he'll stumble upon Matt.

_This is too fucking much. And Matt, when I find you, I think I just might have to kill you.__ You fuck with my mind. Even when you're gone. Damn you, Matt, you idiot. Why are you doing this to me?_


	9. Crashing Matt

WELCOME BACK MY LOVELY READERS.  
PREPARE THE TISSUES D The next few chapters are dramatic  
READ AND REVIEW PLEASE  
Same old disclaimers and stuff like that

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Matt throws his cigarette on the ground and smashes the flame out with the bottom of his boot. 

_That cigarette. It's kind of like my heart, you know? Only it's not. Because I can't be put out as easy as that cigarette. And Mello's date is not as powerful as my boot. So what if he's out with Ren? She's not a bad person. I guess she'd be pretty, if I were into girls. And she's smart. Smarter than me. Only she's not because I'm ranking three. She's not. She's only ranking four. I share. . .shared the bunk beds with Mello. Not her. They'd probably like it if I were to drop a few rankings down though. But now they don't have to worry about that. Ren can have my bed. I hope when Mello is laying with her in that bed, the smell of tobacco fills his lungs. And he thinks of me. That'd be nice. Then maybe---_

His thoughts are interrupted. Because for a moment he is airborne. And the people are screaming, and the breaks are stomped on. And the pain shoots through his body. His body hits the concrete.

And for a moment in time, everything goes completely silent. Matt can feel the blood seeping out of his body. And it hasn't quite registered to him that he has just been hit by a car. All he can think about now is the pain. The pain that is coursing through his body.

The people scream for help. The scene itself isn't pretty. But Matt is unaware of it. He lies motionlessly on the cold concrete, eyes completely shut. And he can feel himself drifting off. Off into unconsciousness, as the rest of the people rush around him.

And all he can think is _Mello, where are you? This hurts._

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_Sorry it's so short. I didn't really know how to drag out getting hit by a car without getting into too many details o.o  
chapter 10 up really soon _


	10. Hit Mello

AUTHOR NOTES//  
SAME OLD DISCLAIMERS  
Another dramatic chapter  
Read and review please  
Now

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Mello drifts around the city, unsure of what exactly he's looking for. He knows he's looking for Matt, but he feels like he's looking for something else too. Something abstract. He's looking for answers. Mello wants to be able to explain what's going on. He wants these answers because uncertainty was something the blond was not accustomed to. He had always known who he was, and now who he was was being questioned. And this almost frightened him, if Mello was the type to be easily frightened.

He looks up ahead of him. The road is blocked to traffic. The flashing lights of police cars and ambulances can be seen. People watch as if it were a television show.

_Wonder what's going on up there._

The blond wanders to the front of the crowd. He wants to know what's going on. That way if he finds Matt, they'll have something to talk about on the way back to the orphanage. Even though he knows if he finds Matt, this scene will be the last thing he will want to talk about.

He glances down at the concrete, which has a small puddle of blood on it, turning the usually gray concrete a dark reddish color. He looks at the body on the stretcher. Only he can't completely see the body. The paramedics are blocking his view.

And after a moment, when one finally moves, Mello sees something worse than he could ever imagine. The motionless body being buckled into the stretcher is none other than the very boy he was looking for.

He climbs under the police tape that was supposed to keep the people out and darts over to the stretcher.

There is a tight grip on his shoulder. A policeman with an icy stare.

"You're not supposed to cross the line," he says, grabbing Mello's shoulder tighter in his grip.

And Mello tries to come up with something to say.

"That's my best friend. Let me go," he says, directing the same icy stare at the police officer.

He stares at paramedics as they lift up the stretcher and feels the grip on his shoulder lighten up until the policeman is no longer holding him. And he is almost in a trance because he walks over the the paramedics. And without realizing it, he is in the front of the ambulance, getting a ride to the hospital with his best friend in the back.

The sound of the siren fills his head. The driver is probably talking at him, but he's not listening. He's lost in his own world with the soundtrack of the sirens.

_Matt, first you ran away. And now you might be dying. What's going on inside that thick skull of yours? You better hope you make it, otherwise I might have to revive you and kill you myself._

And while he doesn't realize it, the thought of losing Matt causes his crystal eyes to glaze over with tears.

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3 chapter 11 to come 


	11. Dreaming Matt

RAIN: WELCOME BACK. SAME DISCLAIMERS APPLY. YOU KNOW THE DRILL. This chapter is abnormally short, but I needed a filler chapter between the Mello ones. And a cutesy Matt dream seemed appropriate. The bolded stuff is dream.

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Matt is unconscious the entire way to the hospital, yet he finds himself dreaming.

**They sit a rock in the secluded part of the beach. The waves crash onto the rocks, splashing the boys' feet. The sun is setting over the wide spread ocean making the sky an pinkish purple color. The only sounds that can be heard is Ren attempting to make Near and L go swimming with her.**

**And the two on the rock are Mello and Matt. They're sitting close, shoulders touching, on one rock.**

**Matt places his hand on top of Mello's, and Mello doesn't pull away. He leaves his hand there, safely under Matt's.**

**The ocean breeze blows Mello's golden hair away from his face revealing his bright blue eyes. And Matt stares at him as he stares at the ocean.**

**And the auburn haired boy lays his head on the blond's shoulder. For a moment, it's completely silent except for the waves crashing on the shores.**

**The blond places a hand under the other's chin and lifts his head up.**

**And they kiss, passionately as the sunsets and the waves crash. And everybody else seems to disappear. And it's only the two boys kissing on the rock.**

He moves in his sleep slightly, a sigh escaping his lips. For even unconscious, he realizes this is nothing more than a dream.

* * *

Mello: That was it? What?

Rain: Yes, that was it.

Matt: THAT WAS POINTLESS D

Rain: Yes, I know.


	12. Realization Mello

Rain: WELCOME BACK  
Mello: TO ANOTHER DRAMATIC CHAPTER STARRING ME  
Rain: Shut up, Mello, and let me do the talking. Go kiss Matt or something.  
Mello: -pouts-  
Rain: ANYWAY You already know the disclaimer. I mean, nothing has changed. It's been a few days, and I still don't own Death Note. And I didn't watch it on Adult Swim last night either, so don't ask. But back on topic. This is one of the longest chapters. Yay for lengthy. It's pretty angsty and sad. So enjoy.

* * *

Mello finds himself some time later in the waiting room at the local hospital, how he got in there seems to be a blur. He's the only one in there, with the exception of a man who's wife is expecting a baby. The man doesn't seem to be paying Mello any attention because he's pacing back and forth, constantly asking the nurse about his wife.

And Mello is curled up in the corner chair. His small body is almost too big for the chair, and it takes some turning and arranging before the blond finds a position he can deal with. He runs his fingers through his blond hair only to realize that his hands are shaking.

_It's just nerves. This is all too much for me. Matt, you idiot. You big, fucking, gorgeous, game obsessed, stupid idiot._

He bashes his head into the wall behind the chair and holds his eyes tightly shut.

"Are you okay, sir?" The receptionist asks, making no real effort to get out of her chair.

Mello nods, "I'm fine."

But it's obviously a lie. The blond is still shaking. And the uncertainty of not knowing whether or not Matt was okay was killing him slowly.

He looks up at the clock. He's been in there for at least an hour, although it was probably longer. Mello never did have much of a concept of time. All his days seemed to blend into one long, drawn out mess of a life.

An unmeasured amount of time passes by.

"Excuse me sir," a nurse says, tapping him on the shoulder.

It's a different nurse from the receptionist who is reading a magazine behind her desk. Mello realizes he must have dozed off sometime ago.

He looks up at her with his tired blue eyes.

"You're the one here for," She looks down at a clipboard, "Mail Jeevas. Correct?"

Mello is too tired and too worried to care about how she knew Matt's real name. He simply nods.

The small woman continues talking, "He hasn't woken up yet. There's some broken ribs. His left arm is broke, most likely from the impact of the concrete, along with some minor bruises and scratches. Right now we're worried about his concussion. The next twenty four hours are critical if---"

Mello stops listening to her, even though she's still talking to him. He stares down at the white tiled floor for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts.

_What if he doesn't wake up? He will wake up. But what if he doesn't? He will, dammit! He might not though. And what if he doesn't?_

The blond has to make himself stop thinking such gory thoughts.And he just barely catches her telling him the room number.

It's almost mechanical the way he walks to room 405. It's as if he's being pulled by an unseen force. And the blond is following along willingly. Finally, room 405. The boy pushes the door open to reveal a dim lit room with very little furniture. A hospital bed, a visitor's couch, a cabinet, and a television. Not that a television matters much. Matt isn't awake anyway.

The blond sits on the couch that is next to the bed. He stares up at Matt, who remains motionless on the bed. There are a few machines, the typical hospital equipment, near the bed. Thick bandages are wrapped around Matt's forehead, pushing his soft auburn hair upwards. Even still, some dried blood shows through the very bottom part of the bandages. His arm is in a cast, and it lays outstretched on top of the blanket. Mello assumes Matt's ribs are bandaged up, and he doesn't want to move the blanket to find out.

"Matt," Mello whispers, "wake up. Please just wake up."

It sounds like a command, but it's more of a plea. And there's no response. Matt lays there, just as before.

"Mail, please," the whispers are on the verge of turning into cries.

Only Mello hasn't cried in years, and he's not sure if he still can. He's almost positive he lost that ability the day that he came to the orphanage.

"God, Matt. Why did you do it? Why did you go and run away? What was the point?" he's talking faster and a bit louder than before, "Why did you run away? Now look what's happened? You could die, Matt."

That hits Mello immediately after he says it because he's realized what he had been denying the entire time in the waiting room.

"Don't die, Matt," he says, his voice breaking up, "I need you too much for that. I need you, okay? Please, don't leave me here alone. I can't do this on my own anymore. I need you. You're my best friend."

And the blond closes his eyes, and to his surprise, tears seem to be rolling down his soft cheeks. He doesn't even bother to wipe them away. He just lays down on the couch, staring over at his best friend, and lets them fall.

* * *

Rain: . . .I think Mello and Matt are codependent on one another, for the story anyway. Hence, the "I can't do this on my own." And Mello is able to cry.  
Matt: Rather shocking isn't it?  
Rain: YOU GO BACK TO BEING. . .HOSPITALIZED  
Matt: -sad-Fiiine  
Rain: ANYWAY, thank you for reading. Leave a review. Chapter 13 up ASAP. 


	13. Gomenasai Matt

Rain: TWO UPDATES IN ONE NIGHT.  
Mello and Matt: LE GASP  
Rain: STFU. . .anyway, it's a Matt chapter. AND AS YOU CAN TELL, MATT DOESN'T DIE D Or does he? I haven't decided yet XD  
Matt: Oh thrilling  
Mello: Sucks to be you right about now  
Matt: -.-  
Rain: Ah can't you feel the love? Anyway, enjoy Same disclaimers. Seriously, do I have to do this every chapter? I'm never going to own Death Note. I've accepted that. And I was listening to Gomenasai by TATU when I wrote this. And I think that mean's I'm sorry? Regardless, the song reminded me of Matt. So hence the chapter name.

* * *

The auburn haired boy opens his eyes unwillingly, noticing he is in a small white room. His body is numb, and he can't quite figure out why. Then it hits him.

_Did a car seriously hit me?_

He observes his arm, noticing the thick white cast that envelopes it. He attempts to wiggle his finger, only to find they won't move.

_Yep, a car definitely hit me._

Matt realizes this means his runaway plan had probably came to a crashing end the moment the car hit him. Because now, the authorities would be called. Roger would drag him back to the orphanage. Mello would yell at him.

_Mello._

Instinctively, he looks over to his left and sees the blond figure asleep on the couch. His eyes are red, obviously from crying. Only Matt doesn't believe Mello knows how to cry, so he decides it's probably just from Mello lacking sleep. The blond's arm hangs off the couch, and the other cradles his head. He's laying stomach down on the couch.

Matt's stomach sinks because he realizes it is actually Mello lying there asleep. A small part of him had been hoping it was merely a hallucination due to heavy pain killers. He isn't quite sure he wants to face the blond. At least if they were in the hospital, Mello couldn't make too much of a fuss. This gives Matt some comfort as he realizes Mello can't punch him while he's lying in a hospital bed.

The blond stirs a bit, just enough to get in a more comfortable position. And if Matt could move, he would probably toss a blanket over the blond and tuck him in. Mello doesn't know about Matt tucking him in. The only other person who knows that Matt tucks Mello in practically every night is Near. And after Matt mutters an excuse about Mello not being able to afford to get sick, he threatens to catch Near's bed on fire with a cigarette if the white-haired kid ever spoke a word about it.

_Look what I've done to you, Mello. Just look. You should have never found me. You shouldn't be here right now. You should be with her. The new number three. Sure, we're best friends, but you can get a new best friend. You don't need me._

"I'm sorry, Mello" Matt finally whispers, his emerald eyes fixed on the sleeping blond.

He realizes, of course, that Mello probably didn't hear him. He decides that he'll make a formal apology to Mello when he's awake. Then, he also decides, Mello will probably yell at him for being stupid and threaten to kill him. And Matt's okay with that. Because Mello yelling at him is a fairly normal thing. And at the moment, normal is what Matt wishes everything could be.

* * *

Rain: Tada. Chapter fourteen to come. Fourteen? I've really written THAT much? Go me.  
Mello and Matt: -clap clap-  
Rain: YES, READ AND REVIEW

Eventually, I'll stop these odd conversation with my imagination. XD


	14. Turning Point Mello

Rain: AH, IT'S CHAPTER FOURTEEN. It's marvelous, isn't it? But anyway. Same damn disclaimer. Honestly, if I owned Death Note, I wouldn't waste my time writing fanfictions. This stuff would be real. XD  
Matt: Comforting thought there  
Rain: -smirk- Be glad I don't own it.  
Mello and Matt: . . .  
Rain: ANYWAY. I got warm fuzzy feelings writing this chapter. Except Mello says "fuck" a lot. So be warned there.

* * *

Mello awakes to the same thing he fell asleep to. Matt has fallen asleep once more, and now only the blond is awake. The room is dimmer than before, and it takes a few moments for Mello to realize that it's nighttime outside. 

He sits up and observes his surroundings once more. Same room. Same sleeping Matt.

He stands next to the bed and looks down at the sleeping Matt, getting a better glimpse of him than he had previously gotten. A scratch runs down the side of his face, from eye to lips, and Mello assumes it was probably from something on the concrete. City streets weren't exactly known for their cleanliness. The blond traces the scratch lightly with his finger before pulling his hand away once more. A sigh escapes his lips as he does this. The realness sets in. Everything that he had been hoping was nothing more than a bad dream was real.

Mello had been hoping to wake up from the couch safely on his top bunk with Matt sleeping right under him. He had been hoping that Matt hadn't actually ran away. He had been hoping everything was just a dream.

Only now he realizes it's not a dream. It's reality.

He remembers the time the heating went out in the orphanage and how he had been freezing because he never slept in a shirt. And he remembers how he climbed down the ladder, feeling the cold through his entire body, and slid under Matt's blanket. And Matt pulled the blond close. And the two slept like that, justifying it as nothing more than 'body heat.'

Looking back on it, the boy realizes that they were always more than friends. They were all each other had. Mello never talked to many of the other orphans. Of course, he talked to Ren, but not like he talked to Matt. Matt knows everything about him. Matt always has. And he knows everything about Matt as well.

The blond adjusts himself on the bed, laying down next to Matt and resting his head on the boy's good shoulder. His blue eyes focus upwards at the ceiling.

"Thanks for everything, Matt," Mello says, still not fully awake, "You're my best friend, you know? Maybe even more. Who fucking knows anymore? You mess with my mind, you know? You don't realize it, but you do. I mean, hell, I've known you were gay. That fluffy bastard told me that a long time ago. But I guess that didn't stop me from being your friend. Sometimes, Matt, I'm pretty sure you're the only one that willingly puts up with me. And sometimes, I think we're probably more than just friends. Body heat, fuck that. There's something between us. There's got to be, as close as we are. But I don't know what the fuck it is, you know? And I'll never know, if you don't _wake the fuck up!_ I need to know!"

He sits up and places his arms on either side of Matt. His thin frame towers over Matt's almost just as thin frame.

"If I do this, will you please wake up?"

Mello leans down. Face to face with Matt. He shuts his eyes and presses his lips against Matt's. It's not much of a kiss, considering Mello is doing all the kisses.

And as he pulls away, he doesn't realize that Matt is awake, dazed, confused, but overall happy.

* * *

Rain: I'm curious to see how this plays out, aren't you? Read and review.  
Matt: -squee- he kissed me  
Rain and Mello: . . .  
Rain: Chapter 15 up soon ;; 


	15. Maybe Just Maybe Matt

Rain: And we're back with another flufftastical chapter. Same damn disclaimer  
Matt: YAY  
Mello: -clap clap-  
Rain: THIS IS ANOTHER FUZZY FEELING CHAPTER

* * *

Matt stares up at Mello, who is sitting on the edge of the bed with his back towards Matt. 

_It's got to be the painkillers. Why would Mello, MELLO, kiss me? Maybe I'm still asleep._

The auburn haired boy continues to stare at the blond, contemplating the possibilities of what had just happened.

_Maybe he did kiss you. But it's probably not true. I doubt he kissed you. But he could have._

He tries to sit up, but he finds it is almost impossible. A sharp pain blasts through his rib cage and into his shoulder. It causes him to fall backwards back onto the bed and hold his eyes shut. A moan of pain manages to make its way through his lips.

Mello looks back at him. Matt is biting painfully hard on his bottom lip in an attempt to revert the pain elsewhere in his body.

"You're going to pierce your own lip," Mello says plainly, "With your own teeth. Is that really what you want?"

Matt looks over at the blond who's staring at him carefully.

"I just moved the wrong way," the gamer replies, looking away at Mello.

As he lies back down, the pain begins to die down again, and he makes a decision not to move unless absolutely necessary. Of course, absolutely necessary to Matt is one of two things. Bathroom break or cigarettes, even though he knows he probably won't be able to smoke for a while.

His emerald eyes meet with Mello's crystal blue ones. Mello is the first to look away. His attention falls back to the plain white bed sheet. It's almost as if Mello doesn't want to look at him. _Maybe he really did kiss me. Why else would he be acting like this?_

There is an awkward silence between them until finally the blond speaks out.

"Matt, what do you see us as?"

Matt raises an eyebrow, debating on how to answer the question posed to him. He tilts his head slightly before replying, "What do you mean 'us as?''"

"You know, our friendship," he replies, a hint of nervousness in his voice.

"Why do you ask?"

_He's acting weird. Maybe, just maybe, it wasn't the painkillers._

"I don't know really," the blond says, "I think we could be more."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I may have kissed you," he stammers, "Just maybe."

_It wasn't the painkillers. Mello actually kissed me. He kissed me. Maybe we could be more than friends._

* * *

Matt:I like where this story is going  
Mello: I'm sure you do.  
Rain: Yep, me too. So sixteen will be up soon. But I got to go read something for english class. Then I should work on an essay. Sixteen will be up tonight or tomorrow. REMEMBER// READ AND REVIEW ;D I love hearing from my readers.


	16. Locking Into Mello

RAIN: I'm back with chapteen sixteen, which due to computer issues took much longer than I had wanted to take. I apologize my loves. Same damn disclaimer, honestly, I'm tired of saying that. IT'S ANOTHER FLUFFY CHAPTER. Aren't I just full of fluff XD ENJOY

* * *

The blond finds it hard to look at Matt, as he has just confessed what he done when the boy was unconscious. His blue eyes look all around the wall behind Matt and finally focus on a picture above the bed. It's not an interesting picture to say the least, nothing more than a mere flower pot.

His fingers squeeze the bed sheets under him, and he can feel that his face is more than likely a bright shade of pink, if not completely red.

_You dumb ass. You should have kept your mouth shut, you know that? God, kid, you're really stupid._

"You kissed me?" the auburn haired boy replies, staring over at his friend.

And Mello finds it almost impossible to form a sentence, or just words for that matter. He does the best he can to answer, which is nothing more than a nod.

For a moment, there is silence again, and it's one of those uncomfortable silences where both just look around the room as if the walls are going to talk for them. However, the walls don't speak.

_He's really cute when he's all confused like that._

Matt stares at Mello once more, his emerald eyes seeming to be searching for answers within the blond.

_His eyes are a nice color too._

Mello stares back at him with piercing blue eyes, like he's waiting for Matt to do something.

_Even banged up like that, he's still gorgeous._

Mello scoots closer to the boy. He leans closer to Matt. And their faces are almost touching. Mello's blue eyes meet Matt's emerald eyes, and they lock into one another. Then their lips meet, locking into one another's.

And as they pull away, their eyes meet once more. And for a moment, nothing has to be said, but a part of their souls have been locked into one another for eternity.

"Mello?"

"What?"

"What does this make us now?"

"I don't know."

* * *

RAIN: CHAPTER SEVENTEEN WILL BE UP ASAP. R&R of course, as always. BUT NOW I MUST COWER AWAY TO MY ROOM BECAUSE IT'S A STORM APPROACHING. O.O 


	17. Competition Matt

It's long overdue, but chapter seventeen is finally up. Rainy got herself a new laptop, so she's just now getting to update. Plus I'm on winter vacation, so I have some freetime too  
But anyway. This is a weirdly fluffy chapter. I don't know how to explain it really.

Same disclaimers!

* * *

Matt stares at Mello for a moment, completely losing himself in the blond's bright blue eyes. The silence between them is both nerve wrecking and peaceful at the same time. It's a combination that is almost impossible to explain. 

The auburn haired boy notices the way Mello is staring at him, only to look away at the wall once more, almost as if he's waiting for Matt to do something. And Matt knows a lot of things he'd like to do. Only he knows he can't do any of them. Mostly out of fear but also due to his injuries.

"What happened between you and Ren?"

Mello cocked his head to the side, "What do you mean what happened? Nothing happened."

"I saw you guys at the coffee shop," he muttered.

Mello went completely silent for a moment, just sitting on the edge of the bed staring at Matt with those bright blue eyes, making Matt feel as though he shouldn't have asked anything at all.

"Nothing happened," Mello lied, recalling the kiss, "It would never work out between the two of us."

With that comment, Matt felt content. At least Ren was out of the competition.

_So, it's become a competition now? Hands down, this is the one competition that I have a chance at winning. I may not be ranked number one as L's successor, but I sure as hell can be Mel's number one._

The gamer smiled at his thoughts, causing Mello to tilt his head in confusion.

"What are you smiling at?"

Matt shook his head, "Nothing, nothing at all."

Mello sighed, running fingers through his blond hair, "You're an idiot, Mail."

"Hey, you kissed this idiot, _twice._ Don't forget that," replied Matt, shooting Mello a sly smirk.

"Don't remind me."

And for a moment, it was like nothing had happened between them. As though Matt hadn't ran away, Mello hadn't gone out with Ren, Matt hadn't been hit by car, and Mello hadn't kissed Matt. For a split moment in time, it was as though it always had been. Two boys just playing around, like always.

* * *

Well, that's it. Thanks for still reading this story, even though updates lately have been slower than AOL 4.0 XD  
18 up as soon as I can :) 


	18. Such A Romantic Mello

Hey, my lovely readers, I'm back with another chapter filled with fluffy cuteness. This chapter gave me warm fuzzies writing it XD. And while it seems like the final chapter, there's one more coming up XD

Same disclaimer. I do not own death note. If I did, I think there'd more fluff. But then it wouldn't be Deathy. Maybe it's best I don't own it XD

* * *

Mello stares at Matt for a moment, taking in every detail. From the green of his eyes to the exact placement of bandages upon the skin that usually looked heavenly soft. He has so much in his head that he wanted to say. So many words, thought out seemingly poetic. 

_Matt, it's completely insane, you know? The way I've fallen for you. I always thought I knew who I was. But you, you made me question things. Then with a kiss, I knew who I was once more. And it sounds crazy, but I think we're meant to be together. We know each other so well. We can read each other like a book. Cover to cover, every detail. So perfectly. Like a puzzle, we fit together. And I think what I want to say is, I want to be with you. So, what do you say?_

That is what he wants to say. Every word of it. He wants to say it beautifully, with his mixed Russian-English accent, the one Matt had fallen for so long ago. But he's nervous. His hands are shaking, causing him to clutch the bed sheets. And he finds it hard to look at Matt, so he turns away.

"Mello? You okay?"

Mello turns to look at Matt, and the lump in his throat is getting bigger. Making words seems close to impossible.

"I need to ask you something," the blond chokes.

To which Matt simply replies, "Meh, okay."

All those words he thought up in his head. Every last one of them. They seem to disappear, and his mind has gone blank. And now he begins to panic because he feels like a fool, and his pride doesn't like that feeling at all.

"Mello, you wanted to ask me something?"

Mello shakes his in response, finding it impossible now to even form a sentence. Matt shakes his head, cutting on the television and staring blankly at it.

"How can you," Mello chokes, feeling anger rise up in him, "just turn on the TV like that?"

"You weren't saying anything," Matt replies in an apathetic tone, "And I got bored."

The blond slams his fist into the remote, turning the television off.

"How can you be so calm when I'm trying to ask you out?" Mello practically screams.

And then the awkward silence settles back in. Neither of them say anything. Neither of them look at one another. They sit there, completely silent, until finally Matt speaks up.

"You're trying to what?"

Mello stares down at the floor and at his feet, "You heard me, ass-hole."

"Oh, Mello, you're such the romantic," Matt replies sarcastically.

_If only he knew._

"So what do you say?" Mello asks, after a moment or so.

And all Matt can do is nod.

The blond leans down and kisses Matt on the lips, and he's surprised when Matt uses his good arm to pull him back down and kiss him once more.

As they pull apart, they smile at one another.

_I guess I know what I am now. I like boys, and I've accepted that. And to be perfectly honest, I'm looking forward to seeing where the future takes me and Matt.

* * *

_

Putting it out there, this is Pre-Death Note. You know where L is still breathing and stuff. So his future is pretty hopeful at the moment. Poor lad. XD

NINETEEN UP AS SOON AS I WRITE IT XD 


	19. For Now

Well, loves, here we are at the end of 2007. But alas, here we are at the end my story. This is the final chapter. The last chapter felt like a good ending to me, but I didn't want it to end with Matty in a hospital.  
Matt: Yeah, thanks for that.  
Don't push me, mister. ANYWAY, before I was so rudely interrupted, like I was saying, this is the final chapter. It's kind of an epilouge, I guess.

* * *

It's been a year since Matt ran away. A year since that frantic journey searching for him. A year since the hospital. A year today that the two fell for one another. 

The two sit atop the Whammy house. The wind is blowing, and the sun is setting over the city. The boys are sitting next to one another, in silence. Mello lays his head on Matt's shoulder. Matt wraps his arms around the blond. And for the moment, neither of them say anything.

Finally Mello speaks, "Happy anniversary."

Matt tilts his head, still staring off into the sunset, "You too."

Mello looks up at Matt and wraps his arms around the boy's neck. He swings his leg over Matt, so that he's straddling the boy. The two lean in closer to one another and kiss. Mello pushes Matt back. The two are laying down, on the rooftop, kissing.

Footsteps are heard on the roof, and neither of the two notice the sound.

Ren lets out a cough to get the boy's attention. The pair look up, pulling away from one another. Each their own shade of pink in the face. They stand up, tugging at their clothes, trying to make the situation less awkward, but Ren simply throws her hands in the air.

"Dinner's ready," she says, laughing slightly as she says it.

The boys nod and begin to climb off the roof.

"Hey, Mel." Ren exclaims.

The blond turns and looks at her, tilting his head, as Matt slides back into the window.

"Congratulations," the girl says, giving him a small smile.

He simply nods and climbs back inside, chasing his boyfriend to the dinner table.

For now, they won't think about tomorrow. For now, Near won't matter. For now, being number one won't matter. For now, they'll just eat dinner, sneak back outside after dark, and celebrate just a little more before sliding into bed. For now, they don't need to be the best because to each other, they are the best.

And for now, that's all that matters.

* * *

So that's it. Seriously. No more chapters. I'd like to take this time to personally thank you all for reading my story. I love you guys, and I plan on writing more for you guys in 2008. What's sad is this story ends, probably a few month before L . . .well yeah. So they don't get to be perfectly happy too long. Poor guys.  
Mello: Always the pessimist aren't you?  
You're one to talk.  
Mello: . . .  
Yeah, that's what I thought. I hope you guys enjoyed my story. 


End file.
